A Nightmare in Pink
by WingedAssassin
Summary: Quinn, tired of having to masquerade Daria as her cousin, 'updates' Daria's closet. Disasterous consequences ensue. I revised chapter 2.
1. A Nightmare in Pink

Daria wakes up to the sound of her alarm, and hits the thing to silence it. It reads 6:30. She sits up and rubs her eyes, waits a moment for them to focus to their normal blurry state, then fumbles for her glasses.  
  
CUT TO INSIDE OF CLOSET, FACING THE DOOR-Daria opens the door, a column of light illuminating the clothes resting on hangers inside. Once her eyes focus on the clothes inside, her eyes widen suddenly. She curses.  
  
CUT TO INSIDE OF CLOSET, FACING THE CLOTHES-Instead of the usual green jackets, orange t-shirts, and pleated black skirts that make up Daria's wardrobe, there are tight pink t-shirts and flare blue jeans hanging off the hangers, reminiscent of the episode "Quinn the Brain"-only there is the word PRINCESS written across the front in bright, cheerful red lettering. The boots, fortunately, are still there, resting in the corner. She grabs a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and, still wearing her pajamas, walks into Quinn's room. Quinn is already fully dressed and on the cordless phone, brushing her hair with one hand and holding the phone to her ear with the other.  
  
QUINN: (still on the phone) Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yeah, I know. Uh-huh. Stacey, what kind of blush do you think would go better with that blue blouse? Oh, really. Yeah.  
  
DARIA: (gives Quinn a scathing glare)  
  
QUINN: Ah, Stacey, I think I'll have to call you back. Uh-huh. Talk to you in class. Bye. (walks over and places the phone on the bed)  
  
DARIA: (brandishing clothes) Quinn, what is this all about? I have a nagging feeling that you were involved in this.  
  
QUINN: I, uh, thought your wardrobe needed an update from that horrible green thing you wear everywhere. Green is sooo last season. I'm sick of having to hide you all the time, Daria, it's really not good for my reputation. Sandi's beginning to suspect that you're my sister. So, if I'm going to break the news to them anytime soon, well, you have to look at least a little respectable.  
  
DARIA: Quinn. Where the hell are my clothes? (her eyes slant angrily)  
  
QUINN: (puts a hand to her mouth) Oh, look at the time, Daria. I'd better get going. Don't wanna be late for school, you know? Skylar promised he'd drive me to school this morning. See ya!  
  
DARIA: No! Wait! (reaches out to Quinn, but she's already out the front door before further protest can be made.) (she looks down at the small pink t-shirt and flare jeans.)  
  
DARIA: Damn.  
  
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CUT TO DARIA'S ROOM-Daria searches everywhere for one of her black skirts, or green jackets.something, anything to keep her from wearing some of the current contents of her closet out of necessity. She peers under the bed, behind the desk, behind the door, but ultimately finds nothing. She stops, and once again opens the closet and takes a long stare at the clothes inside.  
  
DARIA: (thinking) Oh, god. I can't believe I'm doing this.  
  
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CUT TO THE MORGENDORFFER KITCHEN-Daria walks in wearing the form-fitting pink t-shirt and flare jeans, looking as she did that time in "Quinn The Brain" only this time wearing glasses and the same black boots as always- their nearly knee-high tops covered by the flares so that only the bottoms show. Of course, her face is devoid of makeup and expression. Jake is seated at his usual place at the table, reading a newspaper. A cup of coffee is by his elbow, and he takes a sip. Helen is sitting across from Jake, cup of coffee also in hand, reading a paper of some sort from her briefcase.  
  
HELEN: (without looking up) Quinn honey, I thought you let with your date a few minutes ago.  
  
DARIA: I'm not Quinn.  
  
JAKE: (looks up) Huh? Oh. Daria. (confused expression on his face) Um, nice outfit. (continues reading)  
  
DARIA: Yeah. Quinn hid all my clothes and replaced them with the mall's latest fashions. There will be all hell to pay. (beat) Hey, Mom, do you think I could skip school today? I've been feeling kinda down lately.  
  
HELEN: Now Daria, you should really think about expanding your social horizons.  
  
JAKE: Daria's making friends? Well, I think that's wonderful, Daria! Way to go, kiddo!  
  
HELEN: (shoots Jake a murderous look)  
  
DARIA: (blank expression) (turns and walks out of scene. in the background you hear a door opening and closing with a bang)  
  
JAKE: What? What'd I do? (looks around) 


	2. And so it begins

CUT TO THE LANES HOUSE-Daria rings the doorbell and Jane answers. Immediately her eyes widen.  
  
JANE: Whoa there, Miss America. What's with the new style? You trying to pull something?  
  
DARIA: No. Quinn stole all my clothes and replaced them with this. So now I have to spend an entire day of school trying to retain my sanity, while somehow maintaining that I don't care about my reputation. You think I could borrow some clothes or something?  
  
JANE: Sorry. Trent mixed up that year-old parmesan cheese with the laundry detergent. What I'm wearing is what I've got.  
  
DARIA: (stares numbly)  
  
JANE: Wait! Don't move! Lemme find my camera!  
  
DARIA: Jane, if you take one picture, friend or no, I will dismember you in the street and bury your remains in five different states.  
  
JANE: Ah, well. So much for blackmail photos. One more thing.  
  
DARIA: Yes?  
  
JANE: Wanna borrow my power drill for when you get home?  
  
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CUT TO SCHOOL HALLWAY-DARIA'S LOCKER-Daria is at her open locker, and takes a book out of it. She hears an obnoxious purr behind her and stops in her tracks.  
  
UPCHUCK: Rrrrowww! Why hello, are you new around here? I'd be happy to introduce myself. I am Charles Ruttheimer III-  
  
Daria shuts her locker and turns around quickly to find herself face to face with a grinning Upchuck.  
  
DARIA: Can it, Upchuck. (leaves for class)  
  
UPCHUCK: Daria?  
  
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CUT TO MR. O'NEILL'S CLASS-Everyone's in their usual seats.  
  
O'NEILL: Now, class, can anyone tell me the significance of the window the Raven in the poem taps on? (looks around) Kevin?  
  
KEVIN: Um. the raven's peeping at the dude in the house?  
  
BRITTANY: Eep!  
  
O'NEILL: I'm sorry to say, Kevin, but your ability to learn nothing from this class confounds me.  
  
KEVIN: Uh.is that good? (grins)  
  
O'NEILL: (sighs) Daria? (looks at Daria's seat) Daria?  
  
DARIA: Yes? (tries to look normal)  
  
O'NEILL: (beams at Daria) Good for you, Daria! You've finally decided to take action and care about your appearance! That's great!  
  
DARIA: (looks uncomfortable) Uh-  
  
BRITTANY: Oooh, Daria! Cute outfit!  
  
JANE: (smugly) And so it begins.  
  
DARIA: (glares at Jane) 


	3. Please NO staring

CUT TO THE HALLWAYS BETWEEN CLASSES-Jane and Daria walk down the hall; the latter looking more dejected than usual.  
  
JANE: Y'know, if you scrape some of that glitter off the bottoms of your pants, you won't look *that* bad.  
  
DARIA: It would be even better if I cut them off altogether and wore my history paper to class.  
  
(She stops at her locker, opens it, and pauses to get a book out of it. Jane stands beside her, waiting for her.)  
  
(The Goth girl, Andrea, stops and stares. And then a kid in a baseball hat. And then a guy in a dark blue t-shirt. Soon there is a small crowd around Daria, all looking at her. A few people are whispering madly at each other.)  
  
DARIA: (angrily) WHAT?  
  
(shuts her locker and jogs into Mr. DeMarino's classroom with her books)  
  
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CUT TO THE FASHION CLUB-Quinn and her "fashion fiends" are discussing some fashion-related venture.  
  
QUINN: And then I was like, no way am I wearing that to a party! *Everyone* wears those things to parties!  
  
STACEY: Wow, Quinn, you really know how to color-coordinate.  
  
(The Fashion Club passes the crowd around Daria's locker.)  
  
SANDI: Ahem. Gee, Quinn, wasn't that person back there your cousin or whatever?  
  
QUINN: Uh.yeah, I think so. Why, Sandi? Don't you want to hear about my other fashion escapades?  
  
SANDI: She was wearing that Cashmann's t-shirt I saw for sale on my last adventure to the mall. Since when do brains wear the latest fashions? (raises an eyebrow)  
  
TIFFANY: (at about the speed of a three hundred pound boulder in the middle of a valley) Yeah. I mean, doesn't that, like, make what *we're* wearing look bad or something?  
  
STACEY: Omigod!  
  
SANDI: Of course not. She's just a second-class imitator, trying to get in with the popular crowd. No sane popular girl wears boots like that.  
  
TIFFANY: I know. They're so G.I. Joe.  
  
QUINN: Uhhh. Right, Sandi!  
  
(No one notices the well-hidden traces of worry on her face, and the group continues walking.) 


End file.
